Days 31-33....

Who is my Mordecai??? Friends of mine discussed they attended a church service and that was the question. Who is that one person when all is just fine can walk in the room, and poof.... things just seem to turn grey. I have a problem.... and learning to deal has proven more difficult than I ever imagined. This 40days is drawing to an end, I've learned I'm scared and though the scaring person has since gone on to be with the Lord, her actions haunt me through another, and I let it bother me more than I should!! My walk w/ Christ, far far far.... from being perfect, and I feel unworthy to be on the path my church is on, but will however follow in submission to my husband. I had a beautiful weekend camping with the family and good friends. I have unanswered questions, and doubts about myself, about my belief, is it strong enough? Am I humble enough? Can I do this? I'd sure love to run away from so many things and never look back. How can such a nice time be so overshadowed..